It didn’t fit any of my schedules.

My son Matt has not been phoning me so I don’t know his work schedule so I don’t know if he’s coming for a swim, lunch and or dinner and I so I don’t know if he’s coming for Sunday dinner which has been a given for years. He was showing up without calling but last week he didn’t with no call and no show so this week with still no word I figured he wasn’t coming and didn’t make any plans.

I got busy with my D.C work and then I had to pay attention to a Zoom meeting and he arrived .

I managed to live alone for 30 years until the last two and a half. Matt lived with me for mutual protection (Covid) , suggested by the family. I began to eat more sensibly and cook again and pay attention to nutrition for his sake. I lost 40 pounds and Matt lost 60 pounds and we both felt and looked better. And then he left. He went home to his subsidized apartment that he shares with another challenged man assigned to him by Community Living, He forgot about me. I don’t blame him but I do miss him.

I stopped taking an interest in cooking. I lost my appetite. I cooked only if I had some one to share it with. Food doesn’t taste the same. I, whose first cookbook was about leftovers, started throwing out food. I have gained about three to five pounds depending on what day it is. Matt has gained twenty-seven pounds.

(We had a frozen pizza for dinner and an ice cream bar for dessert.)

That’s what happened to yesterday.

Now I can go on to today

Not now.