Have you seen those little Queen dolls that wave graciously when the sun hits their handbag? (More recently they are guilty of egregious over-dressing, wearing a tiara with a day dress.) I received a discreet one as a Christmas present a few years ago from my American granddaughters, and enjoyed it until its hand got tired. But I've been thinking ever since about the Queen's handbag. It has been ubiquitous, part of her elegant wardrobe, always matching her ensemble, always with a handle, and people have bee making oles about it and its possible contents. I've been thinking about that, too. NO - WHITE OR BLACK, I FIND, AND SHE OWNS OVER 300 OF THEM, SOFT LEATHER, LINED IN SUEDE WITH COMPARTMENTS FOR EASY SELECTION OF HER NEEDS.
For one thing, I'm sure it doesn't contain money. I've read that no member of the arisrtocracy ever carries money, especially not women, especially not the Queen. ( I wonder if she ever learned how to make change.) Of course she will carry a handkerchief and that led me to other speculations: who made the handkerchief? Google is invaluable. I found a whole list of Royal Warrants, granted to companies who supply the royal family, specifically, the Queen, HRH Prince of Wales, and the Duke of Edinborough. Didn't see any special warrants for Prince William or the Duchess of Cambridge. ( Does she even carry a handbag?) I was actually looking for Yardley's because i'm sure the handkerchief is scented with lavender but I came across a whole bunch of champagne makers: Bollinger, Mumm, Roederer, Veuve Cliquot and I was beguiled with her good taste. The Prince of Wales favours Laphroaig. They all like Twinings tea.
THIS MORNING I READ THAT THE QUEEN HAS FOUR COCKTAILS A DAY, STARTING WITH DUBONNET AND GIN AT LUNCH AND ENDING WITH CHAMPAGNE AT BEDTIME. WHY NOT?
Anyway, what else might she have in her handbag? Certainly not keys, house or car, though we know she can drive (Remember her job during the war and if you weren't around then, surely you saw the Helen Mirren movie, The Queen.) But on official occasions she has no need of car keys and all doors are opened for her.
So, also - no driver's license,t hough again I'm sure she has one. And no I.D. - I mean, everyone knows her.
How about mace? Who would dare lay hands on her? Our Governor-General touched her elbow recently to help her on some steps and received wide public criticism for taking such a liberty. Still, with the weird turns life is taking these days, it might be reassuring to have a little canister of mace handy in case anyone attempts a kidnapping .
I WAS CUT OFF HERE WHEN MY BATTERY DIED, SO IT'S TOMORROW NOW. I DID SOME MORE CHECKING. SHE NEEDS GLASSES AND ALSO IF SHE'S AT THE RACES OR ON A SIGHTSEEING TOUR, BINOCULARS. IT BEGINS TO BE HEAVY.
SHE WEARS IT ON HER LEFT SIDE AND HAS A SECRET CODE FOR HER AIDES. DEPENDING ON WHERE SHE PLACES HER BAG, THEY KNOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE OR SHE WANTS TO TALK SOME MORE OR GET ME OUT OF HERE!
YOU DON'T NEED ME TO TELL YOU. JUST LOOK IT UP.