how long is a wink?

Not a flirty wink, but a sleepy wink, as in "I didn't sleep a wink last night". My father, the doctor, advised his sleepless patients to ignore their seeming deprivation.  He counter-acted the general advice nowadays that says you should get out of bed and do something else until you get sleepy enough to try again. He said you get more sleep than you think you're getting and that at least your body is getting bed rest. Not all of your functions are shut down but some of them are, and that's good. I thought of that this morning when I realized that three hours had passed since I awoke and couldn't get to sleep again while I fussed and tossed.  Well! If that much time had passed, I must have had some sleep though it didn't feel like it during my restless meditation.   Later in the day, however, I ebbed very low with a guest  present and had a little trouble keeping both eyes from winking. 

Such nocturnal rumination can be productive.  You are in free-fall and while  you are sadly vulnerable and can get led down a path of disturbing memories with one sad fact (or factoid) leading to another, on the other hand, you are wide open for revelations , reminders and remedies for some of your current stresses.  After a so-called sleepless night I am surprised by my efficiency and what could be mistaken for energy as I look up something I had meant to check, or find something I had forgotten to look for, or phone someone I've been meaning to call. You win some you lose some.  

I guess.

Anyway, I almost didn't write this because I am so sleepy.  I'm going to bed right now.  Anon, anon.