Now there's a line you'll never hear again because a) there are no more cheques (soon) and b) there is no more mail (already). People my age aren't supposed to recall the good old days, so I'll leave that up to any younger readers who may have stumbled across me. Instead, as a broad-minded old-timer, I am supposed to rejoice in this best of all possible worlds, cheering the defunct post office and rejoicing in the disappearing cheque, thereby staying with it (whatever it is) and young. Can you remember the first time you wrote a cheque? Okay, try this: can you remember the last time you wrote a cheque? Bulk and dollar stores want cash; baby-sitters now (according to a recent commercial for a bank) will take their pay on their cellphone; your bank has a list of hungry creditors who will take online payments, including ones made to your monthly credit card, on which you rack up a sizeable load each month. What's left? Gifts and charities. No, not charities; they will accept credit card payments. I send money orders to my American grandchildren because American banks are wary of Canadian cheques (they spell it differently), and charge exchange - even when I clearly state US FUNDS - and a service charge above and beyond. Last Christmas I sent a money order in a large amount covering the whole family and guess what? The Canadian Post Office LOST THE EXPRESS POST. What was I discussing? Oh yes, the disappearing cheque. In the mail? Or in outer space? At least they won't bounce any more.