I'm having a party today, for the family.  I am the kin keeper. Every family should have one but there should be a retirement age for the job as there is for other,  paying ones.   After yesterday's downer re mail I am not in the mood.  Why am I doing this?  Someone asked me a few weeks ago (I told you) why I write a blog.  Hey, why have a party? I'm already tired and I haven't begun my work.  Well, yes, I have, I dragged all the food home.  Now I have to prepare it and serve it and hope they eat it so I won't have too many leftovers.  It's not like it was.  My husband and I used to have regular pool parties for 75 or more people,  one cast and crew party at a time, a barbecue for all, at our own expense, no subsidy from the theatre.  Why?  I think we were drunk with our own good will and grand-standing for each other.  That had to be the reason.  No one ever brought anything to help.  I suppose they thought it was the theatre's largesse. And after Bill died, no one remembered my name.  See?  I've never dwelled on that.  Is it tiredness or is it age? Anyway, I am not driven by anything now, just an obligation I must fulfill since no one else is doing it.  I may have to erase this blog soon, but not today.  Let me rant.  No one is listening.