I’m still going through files and papers for my tax stuff and i came across this, a satire of an exam by Barney Jackson, who was on the Stratford Board when I was there. I have spent an hour searching for him. He must have been an academic as you will deduce from this fake exam he wrote for our entertainment. I will enter as much as I can —I have to make dinner….

CANDIDATES WILL ATTEMPT FIFTEEN OF THE FOLLOWING THRTY QUESTIONS.(N.B. 50% of the 15 must be odd numbered questions (e.g. Question 29)

1 - “Now could I do it pat,” says Hamlet as he comes on Claudius at prayer.

a) Why does Hamlet feel it necessary to take Pat into his confidence?I

b) Is Pat male or female?

c) What does this passage tell us about the Elizabethan attitude to Ireland?

2 - On the basis of our reading of Shakespeare’s plays, estimate his probable mark in Geography at King Edward Grammar School.

3 - Account for the drama.

4 - “All’s Well That Ends Well”. Do you agree with this statement? (NOTE: Severe penalties will be imposed for an incorrect answer.)

5 - “Humph”, This was King William’s comment after reading Cymbeline. Discuss King William’s verdict without mentioning Aristotle, Northrop Frye or Giles Goatboy.

6 - Shakespeare used old-fashioned language because he a) didn’t know any better; b) was in love with Queen Elizabeth; c) hated Americans; d) talked in iambic pentameter; e) wasn’t Fancis Bacon; f) didn’t give a damn; g) came from a small town; h) sometimes sang madrigals; i) drank too much; j) had small Latin and less Greek. Select the correct answer, and incorporate it in a sonnet.

7 -

I received this request on my iPad with no return address so I must answer here , sorry.

REQUEST:

New comment from Angela on happy mothers' day to me:

Hi there! I would have emailed but wasn't sure how to find it! I was looking for new monologues and stumbled across a monologue from your play "Mark", and thought it was so beautiful and was really interested in using it for a class, but searched and searched and couldn't find the full play anywhere online! Was just wondering if you knew if there is anywhere to purchase or access this play online? Your words felt so honest and I almost cried reading just the monologue and would love to read more! Thanks :)

ANSWER:

Thank you,Angela, for your kind words about my play Mark. You can buy a print-out copy of the script from The Playwrights Guild of Canada. Get them online. I think they have a special right now for readers.

Bless, Bettyjane.

NOW— Welcome to today!

Or maybe not. On May 11 here in Toronto it’s snowing!!

I just pulled out my Amish Friendship Bread starter to make some comfort loaves in 10 days when it’s riz. I’m sure you can google the directions. Write me if you can’t. It’s very popular. If we were closer and able to meet, I’d give you some starter. A neighbour who became a dear friend gave me some starter years ago when i moved into this building. I used to have a sourdough starter I picked up in San Francisco and in My Other Life I baked every Friday, lots of different things. I had a sourdough cookbook. I’m still related by sourdough to a number of people in Stratford.

Rise with me!