a myriad of random thoughts

With so much going on, I had a lot of disparate thoughts I have to deal with as quickly as possible.

Uppermost was my granddaughter’s wedding. I must admit I had a pang when I saw her (so beautiful!) walking down the aisle on her father’s arm (my son John). I had a father’s arm but my two daughters did not and it still hurts. Not to dwell on it but I just wanted to acknowledge another milestone. Bereavement is forever.

It was a young wedding and delightful. I had a large wedding (over 400 guests) and like weddings in those days, paid for by the father of the bride, most of the guests were friends of the parents. Mine was distinctive because there was a generous complement of younger people, friends of the bride and groom. Well, I was 21; my granddaughter is 31. So more young people than old attended her party. These friends were young but mature, established career people, so bright and shiny, altogether delightful. The speeches were wonderful (especially my son’s, but allow for my bias). And the planning and execution of the arrangements were impeccable. Example; the large wedding party: 8 groomsmen, two of them brothers and one brother-in-law of the groom; six bridesmaids, one sister-in-law and five very close friends of the bride, including two doctors like herself, derived from her longer background - all these lovely people were transported in a van to the reception, with a private champagne celebration for them. Good planning,very classy.

As I said, I was 21; I married 17 days after I convocated with a Masters degree in English.I had no idea what I was doing. I went from my parents’ home to my/our married home. I think of that line from The Lady’s Not for Burning ( a 1948 play by Christopher Fry, 1907-2005), when Margaret, the mother, comments on Alizon, the woman intended for one of her sons, runs off with Richard, the servant. She worries about them “throwing themselves under the wheels of happiness.” That’s what i did. Other, later wheels were harder.

So I was awash with memory and emotion. Enough of that, myriad, but not random enough..

It has been a busy fall, with trips and visits and laundry and lots of paper-pushing. I was very tired but I think I’m recovering. Maybe not; I have more thoughts but no energy to convey them right now.