why isn't anything easy?

I need time.

I will be back.

Today, I hope……

LATE MORNNG:

I SHOULD KNOW BETTER than to start something I know I can’t finish in an hour or so, because I get trapped. (NYT on the balcony, with coffee.) But i missed my swim yesterday morning, and Matt was working, so no afternoon swim and it was ideal for an early evenng swim, but I was so tired and so busy that I couldn’t leave it, so I missed yesterday. Aagh.

I made up for it this morning by swimming outside at 7:30 and then inside (exercise in the spa) and now I’m making up for yesterday with everything I neglected. It doesn’t go away.

Someone has to do it. Nobody here but this lazy old woman. I am essential—to me.

I’m not very dependable, but I’m all I’ve got.

Yesterday disappeared because I pulled out some more files for my on-going-never-ending archive project. Big mistake. The stuff I pulled was by me: ideas, pitches lists, first drafts,, some never sent, some sent but rejected. All good stuff, useful to to me, no use to anyone else, I guess, but I’ll keep it a while. It gives me a little pleasure, while i’m still here.

Very time-consuming. I read everything.

I’m my last audience, and a harsh, demanding critic . I stop to insert a better word or to clariiy a sentence, check a fact, and so on. Why do I do that?

I guess it gives me pleasure. I’m still working on that list I assigned a day or so ago.

How are you coming with it?