it's time

My friend and former neighbour made a concerned and not entirely useful comment on yesterday’s blog, but more useful than he could have imagined. He said I should get off the bandwagon and take a break. Very indulgent, not what I deserve or need to do. I have been off, very off off off off the bandwagon. It’s time I climbed back on.

I have been streaming Netflix stories until my head ached and my eyes blurred and my sleep was torn to shreds. I couldn’t stop. I knew it was bad for me, that I had lost control but I couldn’t stop. Last night I wrote two orders in my diary in capital letters:

SWIM

WALK

This morning I swam; this afternoon I will walk. There’s another order:

DE-CLUTTER.

That’s my son John’s verb for what I must do with my files and papers. It’s the first step of a journey. I had to figure out a way to start. I did.

This morning after my swim and breakfast, I worked through a box of birthday and greeting cards and mementoes (notes and announcements) from my family and friends. I read every one of them and sorted them out. Very few went into the garbage. Most of them will stay with me. They won’t mean anything to the archivist at the University of Manitoba, which stores my “fonds”, nor to my children. They’re of no use to anyone but me. But they have given me the comfort and the encouragement I need to keep on keeping on.

They have even given me the incentive to write a new blog.

This is it.