ELECTION DAY IN CANADA—NO IT’S NOT
—and I’m waiting for my son to drive me to vote. This is a rare service. The polling station is too far for me to walk so I asked for help, my son last of all, but he has come through, with a sharp admonition to be READY at the appointed time because he has a very busy day. So I am waiting. …no, no, no—
—NOT TILL MONDAY.
(Am I losing it?)
WELL, I am waiting for my grocery delivery to arrive. I think I’ll be able to report to you after I put the stuff away—
—a long time later! But it’s still Friday the 17th— finally got that straight.
Well, I am losing it.
I have been going through withdrawal from Matt and all the accompanying work I did because of him. But I’m not using my new free time well. Barely getting through my daily chores, not cooking unless Matt comes for a meal. I’ve asked him to come and help me put the balcony away for the winter—it takes time because I am very slow and I get very tired lifting things (furniture).
I opened the games on my computer and taught Matt a couple of solitaire games to keep him busy, and now I play 247 every day. Aargh. My daughter gave us one of her guest slots on Netflix and now I’m watching reruns of Bridgerton—very “steamy”, as they say. I call it safe sex. Aargh.
I am in a Slough of Despond. (The name of a deep boggy place in John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress between the City of Destruction and the gate at the beginning of Christian's journey.)
Also wallowing in accidie.
Acadia, also (acedia (/əˈsiːdiə/; also accidie or accedie /ˈæksɪdi/, from Latin acēdia, and this from Greek ἀκηδία, "negligence", ἀ- "lack of" -κηδία "care") has been variously defined as a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. In ancient Greece akidía literally meant an inert state without pain or care. Early Christian monks used the term to define a spiritual state of listlessness and from there the term developed a markedly Christian moral tone. In modern times it has been taken up by literary figures and connected to depression.Wikipedia
It’s also known as sloth and it is one of the seven deadly sins. I have to deal with it. I can’ wait any longer.