Well, I think an Office Manager would be useful, someone to manage all the spam and unsolicited advice and enticements that lure you in to wasting time . I joined FaceTime for about a month and realized what temptations it offers, plus my grandson warned me about Big Brother. I saw it myself. During that time I went to England and used the Heathrow Express to and from the airport and London. I was not a day home when I received an ad from the Heathrow Express, like everyone here uses it.

A Technical Guru would be extremely helpful. Right now I have so many glitches and omissions in my various devices, including my Fitbit and my cell phone, plus plus plus, that , like it or not, I am turning into a Luddite.

Right now I need a Balcony Gardener, including the care and upkeep, but mostly the unwrapping and lifting, of the patio furniture and umbrellas. Everything is shouting, FEED ME, CLEAN ME, PAINT ME, PLANT ME. I, on the other hand, am whining, LET ME SLEEP.

A Housekeeper would be a blessing, that is, a laundress, cleaner, and seasonal monitor—I still have not put away the winter woollies. Just last week I was using my tubular scarf. Next week I’ll bring out the summer duvet. Has anyone else close to my age discovered how difficult it is to fold, let alone fit on, a fitted sheet? And as for stuffing the duvet into the duvet cover I put it off as long as I can which means a late bedtime. A few weeks ago I gave up and slept under an amorphous mushroom cloud I could not coax into a rectangular form.

Did I mention Cook? That’s a meal-planner, nutritional expert, and shopper. Plus, of course, a Scullery Maid, for washing up.

You’re right. This is not a bleat. This is a whine.

All I really need is a Clone.