sic transit gloria mundi

I just received word that my oldest friend, that is, of longest standing, has died, and I am honouring her memory. Erstwhile, she was an erstwhile friend and it's right to use an archaic word for an archaic friendship.  I lost her long ago and I felt the pain of parting then when we were close and wrenched apart by a misunderstanding.  I mourned the loss then.  Now I mourn our happy times and I regret the years that were lost to us.  We didn't live in the same city, hadn't for 50-some years.  Does that make it easier or harder?  Not sure.  Inured, perhaps.  We lose so many people to distance and time; we are physically separated from them before the final parting and so maybe the ultimate departure is a little easier because we've had a hint of what it would be like without them.  

I think this happened to my friends and family while I was away on my long cruise.  I left my little pond without a ripple and slipped in again without a splash and no one noticed.  Some have not even bothered to welcome me back. That's a good thing, I guess.  I said long ago I wouldn't wish the pain of parting such as I suffered when Bill died, wouldn't wish that on anyone.  It's clear that no one will experience it over my final passage.  Very mature, very healthy.

Or is it indifference?