You'll find garter belts today in the pages of Victoria's Secret catalogue or in exclusive boutiques that sell sexy lingerie. In my day a garter belt was a hateful thing that strapped around your hips with dangling ribbons with metal fasteners that you hooked to the top of your stockings so they wouldn't fall down. There was a gap at the top of your thighs, bare flesh between the stocking and your underpants, not sexy at all, just cold in the winter. So conscientious mothers like mine made me wear overpants on cold days - lots of those in Winnipeg in the winter. I graduated to garter belts augmented with overpants after I stopped wearing long underwear under black cotton stockings. I think they scarred my psyche. I tell you, pantihose are one of the great inventions of the 20th century. Some things you don't get over. I haven't thought of garter belts for years but I'm not over them. And then to increase your discomfort roughly once a month add to that a sanitary belt - I think that's what they were called - an elasticized belt to go around your pelvis with two catches, front and back, sort of a cross between a paper clip and a hook, designed to anchor the tails of a sanitary napkin and hold it more or less in place to protect your underpants during your period. I'm shuddering Why am I telling you this? You're not there, anyway.