there i was

Total disintegration
Not getting any better..

But I’ve been baking since November First—Amish Friendship Bread, with a starter (like sourdough). It takes 8 to 10 days to ripen it and then I get four small loaves and one medium size loaf and then I start again. They go in the freezer until I have enough—too much for anything else to go in. I give away a few as I go along: someone sick, someone going away early, someone doing me a favour. Today I delivered, the hardest part of the whole operation. My apartment building has long corridors.

I was exhausted.

here i am

And it has finally, almost, hit home to me how little time there is left—till Christmas, that is. Maybe it’s because I’ve been living on the brink for so long and the best, only solution has been to do nothing, that is, stay home, away from everything, hang in there. I guess that’s what I’ve been doing about Christmas.

Nothing.

Not a good choice.

I’ll try to do something today.

_____________________________________

I did. Quite a lot. Until I was too tired. But nothing is ever finished.

Sigh, and smile, if you can. I am truly blessed. I know that. I just complain a lot.

It was a god day, and I’m still here.