seed beds

I'm moving even more slowly than I was because of this stupid arm. I'm going to Winnipeg tomorrow but I'll take you with me and see what I can manage.  Right now I'll do a short cut with a treat for me and I hope for you.

I have one special bookcase in my office that holds what I call "seed beds"  -  books that serve me as greenhouses or Petrie dishes or potent elixirs.  I'll tell you one (two) of my favourites - one author, two books. The books look like hedgehogs, bristling with post-it notes sticking out of the pages, and I have marginalia scattered throughout. It's not defacing the books; they are more valuable to me with my notes. I'll leave them in my archives.   

I'll tell you the titles and the author and I'll do what I can to show/tell you how excited (still!) I am to browse  and cherry-pick.  

The Secret Heart of the Clock: Notes, Aphorisms, Fragments (English translation 1989) was my first encounter, and Notes from Hampstead: The Writer's notes: 1954-1971 (English translation 1998)  my second, obviously because of the chronology of their publication in English. I had never heard of the author; I picked up Clock because I read a review that interested me.

Elias Canetti (1905-1994),  winner of the 1981 Nobel Prize for Literature, was Bulgarian (born), British but he wrote in German, hence my need for translations. He was (is) considered on the of the prime intellectual figures of the 20th century. Clock is gloomy,about ageing and death, but it is what I clued inspiring but the book jacket calls 'nourishing".

I'll just whip through the books and drop a few cherries, not sure for how long. I'm having a guest for dinner. 

"When you write down your life, every page should contain something no one has ever heard about." [Me: I think this will be increasingly difficult as people spread themselves out in blogs and FaceBook.]

"The certainty of first encounters: enthusiasm or condemnation. I cannot feel lukewarm or cold toward any new person.  The encounter is my volcano/"  [Yes!! Fewer of them as I grow older. They've left without me.]

"It will never be the same again now that the stars have been touched." [When the first moon shot revealed the other side of the moon, I was hoping it would turn out to be a set, all front and props behind holding it up.  Such a disappointment!]

"And what if you were told: One more hour?" [I wrote a play (a monologue) in which the character discovers she has four more minutes.]

Okay, that's four from Clock Writer's Notes next.

"A labyrinth made of all the paths one has taken."  [I'm writing a series of "Elder Tales". This would be a good one. There are others in these notes for tales I want to write. Seed beds!!]

"People I haven't seen for a long time: I forget that they have died."  [It took me a long time in my dreams to remember that my husband had died. Now, when I think of someone I knew at school or long ago, I'm afraid to look.]

"Writers who only exist because they became known so late/"  [I hope so!]

"Burn your old clothes, discard those phrases.  No more defences - leave the old and find out what you are now."  [Any day now.]

It's a good thing someone's coming or I'd be here all  night.  I have to make a salad.

 

 

 

learn something every day

I was sitting with my elbow on ice yesterday and needed distraction, as if one isn't already distracted by life. I chose something from Rogers on Demand, curious about the title" "Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool". Have you heard of it?  Just issued in 2017, fairly good reviews, didn't go anywhere.

It's based on the eponymous book by Peter Turner  about his love affair with actress Gloria Grahame when she was in her fifties and he was 26.  Remember Gloria Grahame?  I do, but I didn't remember that Grahame is spelled with an e. She was  saved from a bad life by Jimmy Stewart in "It's a A Wonderful Life";  she was the errant wife in "The Bad and the Beautiful":  and she was Betty Hutton's competition in "The Greatest Show on Earth".  That's from my memory. I'll look her up now.... 

She won the Oscar for best supporting actress for her role in The Bad and the Beautiful (1952), and seems to be the very model of the sexy, tempting women in a series of film noir movies but she  never became a front-rank star. Her life was wrecked by scandal. Late in her life she met young Peter Turner and became the everlasting love of his life. She turned to him when she was ill and lived with him and his family in Liverpool, until one of her sons took her back to New York to die within hours of arriving.

Peter Turner (played by Jamie Bell, of Billy Eliot fame, co-starring with Annette Benning) is in his 60s now and the author of the book about his love and Grahame's  death. He never married; he's still in love with her.  The movie is not a soap opera, saved by the strength and credibility of the two leading actors.  

One of the articles I read about Grahame quoted a line of hers from The Bad and he Beautiful that I have used for years: "I am happy to say."  It indicates giving into temptation in a charming way.  (Simple example:  "You are tempting me, I am happy to say.")

My elbow is on ice again today, as I write.  How do we know where we're going until we see where we've been?