Forgive me, please. I was very self-indulgent yesterday. Do you remember the term "sunset depression"? I think I explained it once when I was on the ship, viewing a gorgeous sunset over the ocean every night. I had read (where did these italics come from?) that on the first night of a dazzling sunset, one is ecstatic, or at least very appreciative. The second night is pretty good, too. Third night not so. Fourth and fifth nights ho hum. And after that it's downhill. I suppose that's how "same old same old" evolved. So maybe that happened to me. After so much free, relaxing, loving family time, it got too much?

No, that doesn't work, does it? Well, just ignore me - but not completely. Stick around. I'll get better.

This blog began as a travelblog. A the moment I am not travelling, though I will be going afar soon. For starters, I am going to a spa for New Year's Eve, as I have been doing for the last 4 or 5 years. I go for my private fireplace. (I warn them I intend to burn up their profit.) Apart from taking a couple of treatments, I spend most of my time by the fire assessing the year that was and planning the year that will be - my work, that is. Usually it's projects, the next project I hope to write, maybe a couple I have to clean up or finish. But I think I have to analyze my blog. And before I do that, I have to analyze me.

Not now. Next year maybe.

I lost it on Sunday. I, who haven’t cried for years, who thought I had cried all my tears, began to weep, then to cry, then to sob. My daughter held me with my head on her shoulder, and that did it. Istarted to shake and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop. I did, though. Stop. I mean, I am a mature (old) woman, not given to emotional outbursts.

I guess the simplest way to explain my meltdown is to say that I still and always miss my husband, yes, even after 43years. I became too vulnerable with the combination of Christmas carols, the presence of my daughter and her family (I wish that she lived closer), and, at church, the finale of that current YouTube flash mob concert going round. (Check it out.) So I lost it.

I’m back, though, and home again, too, landing in Toronto ahead of the storm that closed Billy Bishop Airport late this afternoon, back to my lethargy and inertia. I’ll be better when I get back into the pool tomorrow morning.