listless....

Just about everyone I know keeps lists, except my son Matthew, and even he has to keep a list of his work schedule each week because it changes from week to week. I love lists. Making lists is one of the free-time activities I indulge in, given a few minutes in a waiting room or in a plane when the electronic servants are cut off.  Ah, but following up on my lists is getting harder and harder.  I set myself too many tasks. I move items on from list to list and I do get a few things done but always and increasingly, the jobs proliferate and time dwindles and paper piles up. 

Is it easier for people with SmartPhones? Less oppressive, I suppose because there is no paper. They can list and delete, list and delete with impunity.  Impunity means they don't create a paper trail.  I'm like Linus in Peanuts - no, Linus was the kid with the blanket.  I'm like Pigpen - was that his name? - with his miasma of dust motes and beams following him.  I write on unused paper surfaces, usually torn into little shares or rectangles. It's very satisfying to complete a chore and toss the paper.  The key word is complete.  I carry little scraps of paper, piling up with procrastination or overoptimism. 

Oh dear.

It would be nice to be listless in a less pejorative meaning of the word.  

does one ever get A+?

I've known all my life that I have to justify my existence each day, as I was taught by my father.  I just realized what I sort of knew all along, that I also have to get good grades.  I'm doing a lot of fiddley work today (I hate fiddleys), and I was thinking as I went along, well, that wasn't too bad, or I could have done better at that, or (often) how could I be so stupid?  I was grading my performance, the dispatch of my various tasks. Who's counting?  

Well, I guess I am.  And then at the end of the day, even when I have done quite well, it's never quite enough, especially these latter days, because I get tired before I'm finished. I also guess that on the whole this is very good for me, healthy, in fact, keeps me on my toes.  I just looked up that tired expression.  I know what it means but I wonder where it comes from.  Oh dear, another search.  You see, I let myself in for fiddleys, no, I go out of my way for them.

Well, it's a lovely day for them and I'm doing quite well, so far.  I hope you are, too.