Next on the disappearing list, so we are told, is The Newspaper. Because, the word is, that no one reads newspapers any more. So the big newspapers are making their product available on devices, whatever and wherever they may be: computers, tablets, pads, phones and ESP. Well, I have a lot to say about that, most of it obsolete and alien to your experience. First, how much do you need/use a newspaper, anyway? I have often said, if something really important happens, people will tell you about it - and they are delighted if you haven't heard already. I remember I was up all night re-writing a play and when I reported at the theatre in the morning, people told me that John Lennon had been shot. People can't wait to tell you. As for all the other people who have been shot since, that the media are so eager to report, they are too eager. Public perception is that the streets are less safe, that murder is more frequent, that the world is getting tougher and more dangerous. Did you ever think the media might be wrong? Not that what they report didn't happen but that they report so much and with such - yes- relish and misplaced emphasis. I just read Steven Pinker's book THE ANGELS OF OUR BETTER NATURE and it enabled me to stop reading the headlines of newspapers, in whatever form, because it gave me a statistical overview that put current homicides and genocides in perspective. I did a survey for a television channel a few years ago, analyzing, among other things, the content of television newscasts and that's when I learned their rule for the evening news: "If it bleeds, it leads." So if they don't have a war or a flood or some other major disaster to report, they'll pick on some local shoot-out. So there's another reason not to read the paper every day. Whose side am I on? The trees, I guess. How do you feel about it? Can you get along without a daily newspaper?

Now there's a line you'll never hear again because a) there are no more cheques (soon) and b) there is no more mail (already). People my age aren't supposed to recall the good old days, so I'll leave that up to any younger readers who may have stumbled across me. Instead, as a broad-minded old-timer, I am supposed to rejoice in this best of all possible worlds, cheering the defunct post office and rejoicing in the disappearing cheque, thereby staying with it (whatever it is) and young. Can you remember the first time you wrote a cheque? Okay, try this: can you remember the last time you wrote a cheque? Bulk and dollar stores want cash; baby-sitters now (according to a recent commercial for a bank) will take their pay on their cellphone; your bank has a list of hungry creditors who will take online payments, including ones made to your monthly credit card, on which you rack up a sizeable load each month. What's left? Gifts and charities. No, not charities; they will accept credit card payments. I send money orders to my American grandchildren because American banks are wary of Canadian cheques (they spell it differently), and charge exchange - even when I clearly state US FUNDS - and a service charge above and beyond. Last Christmas I sent a money order in a large amount covering the whole family and guess what? The Canadian Post Office LOST THE EXPRESS POST. What was I discussing? Oh yes, the disappearing cheque. In the mail? Or in outer space? At least they won't bounce any more.