It took longer than I expected.
My books are not on display.
My books, that is, books written by other people, are in every room of my apartment except the bathroom. (Bathrooms are too damp to store books or vitaamins or prescription medicine.).
My books are gathering dust on the top shelf at the back of the closet in my office.
I knew where my book was but I had to drum up the courage to bring it down.
I don’t climb anything higher than a curb or a stair step, with the help of a cane. I needed a sturdy step stool with a handle. I own one, from Canadian Tire, but I also needed the confidence to climb it and the courage to search and find the book I wanted. It’s dark up there. I also needed a flashlight. The hardest to get was the courage.
Finally, this afternoon, I couldn’t put it off any longer. I found the book, i didn’t get dizzy. I didn’t fall. I’m still here.
I found the profile I wanted to read. I couldn’t remember the name of my subject but I remember he lived in the east—yes—Windsor, Nova Scotia.. Reverend JPC Fraser. Got him!
I was good at recording (with a pen) people’s words. It came from years of taking notes in classes. I was ripe for that book. Anything I quoted directly was accurate. If I couldn’t get it all down I condensed or paraphrased and indicated that—to me, so I’d know, and my readers would too..
I didn’t get his age rightl. He was only 91. I’m 93 now, but I was 25 years younger then. I guess i thought he was very old. In those days he was. Hallmark cards have caught up with the elderly now and are available iin the 90s range.
He and his wife actualy lived ihi less space than I remembered. He amused himself and me by pointing out all the rooms in their one-room space: living room, dining room, bedroom, office, and so on. But i understood what he ssid about his anticipated after-life which he was preparing for by learninng Hebrew.. I have never forgotten that.
I have been thinking about it a lot recently because I am going through it with my mother who died when she was 82 and I was 56. She has been with me for several months now in my dreams as we go to various events together and talk a lot which we never used to do, except about movies. But I never remember how I got home before I woke up and I never learned where she was staying. I wondered but I never askedL Lately, as I’ve been working on tihis blog, she has been with me more, iin conversation, about the after-ilife—not really, but I’m thinking about it. I feel that we are going to meet soon and I’lll know where she is and I am—together.
I don’t worry about it but I need a little more time to finish the projects I’m working on here.
Something came up this morning so I’ll have to continue this.
Tomorrow.