I´m such a shut-in that I have developed agoraphobia when I have to go out. I was up early and fussing nervously this morning as if I had something to dread.as

John came as promised and wrapped the balcony furniture for winter, protesting that it wasn't necessary. I argued that It is necessary to me, that he shouldn’t deprive me of my familiar settings, that I am an old woman who needs to be allowed her foibles. He gave in gracefully. It must be hard on him.

I—we—had a lovely day. l took my rollator so I had a place to sit when I needed to. I bought lovely things, Christmas presents for John and Matt, plus things Matt needed, and a real birthday gift for my computer guru who is so good to me.

I treated to lunch, a real treat for me who is not used to being served. (I can hear an argument.)

It was so nice to be with people I love and who love me and we were all very patient with each other.

I had a delicious nap when I got home and so removed from reaity as I must live it today that I had trouble focussing on the day, the date, the time and the remainder of this day that was. I phoned Sam and he came some time after his ETA so I was well and truly launched with my codeine when he arrived. No pain at all.

I ate a few leftovers from last night’s dinner and today’s lunch with a glass of red wine left over from some time or other, not necessary but pleasant, Nothihg is necessary but some things are reassuring.

I have received a promise of future pain. My doctor called with the news that some more shards of glass have been discovered in my hand that I had X-rayed this week. I will be called when the surgeon has found a day to cut them out.

Life goes on.

I had a good day today.

I did have a thought but it faded.

My Wound Specialist came later than ever yesterday, last night. I despaired of him coming and took a Codeine. He phoned about two hours after that and told me to take my Codeine so I did, a second one, full strength. I slept, boy, did I sleep. I was sleepy-tired-lazy all day after I got up, late, and I did NOTHING all day. Matt is my conscience now and my whip. I had to bestir myself and do something for him, things I would not do for myself. Like make dinner.

So I was his coach while he swam and his Phys Ed nag while he exercised and I made a good dinner for us —I still remember how. And we watched a neat. history of Monty Python, not finished when Matt had to leave, but I’ve saved it for us.

He saved me from myself.

I think I’m going to get better.