It’s the 20th of February, the day before my ninety-second birthday, and I am trying to survive a surfeit of celebration—consuming too much—including lunch tomorrow when my granddaughter will be taking me out to eat and drink more.

This morning, my older son took me and my younger son back to his home where he and his wife gave us an Icelandic brunch: gravad lax, which he made, and steak tartare which he made, with a dill- honey mustard ,which he made. and good breads and salad, plus Tuborg beer—no Brennevin (only available in Iceland) or Akvavit. I have mixed but weak emotions about that omission made for our health’s and diet’s sakes. After a brief but inadequate respite, we had champagne and birthday cake with two candles: one for Matt’s birthday two weeks ago and one for mine tomorrow. I swam this morning and I’ve had a nap and I will lie around and try to think useful thoughts until my next pig-out tomorrow.

Too much of a muchness.

This is not a blog, it’s a blow-out. If I recover enough to write something worthwhile you’ll hear from me again today.

Bu t I doubt it.

i worked from 5a.m. to 9:30 when son John and cleaner Roderick came. John brought new cleaning supplies and left. Roderick stayed to work. I worked, too.

It was a new cache of files, clippings, writing, reviews—-on and on—and I had just gone through it —sorted things out into messy piles on my sofa when the guys came. To tidy it would have taken as long as to “finish” , ao I kept the mounds on the sofa and carried on. I was through before Roderick got to the living room. Now I have lots of letters to write, people to contact, blogs to consider…but It’s another obstacle surmounted? Not quite. There’s always more work to do. But also discoveries to make.

I am finally in a throw-away mood and finally recognizing the fact that I cannot go on studying new people— writers whose names I cannot spell without some help, and who are expressing emotions I have already dealt with. So I will go on—or back?—and I won’t burden the archives with my discoveries, not until I have something to show for my efforts. Now I have to decide what efforts I will make.

It’s late afternoon by now. I will go swimming and prepare for a friend who is bringing me dinner to celebrate my upcoming birthday.

Anon.