maybe begin again?

It takes a long time to grow up.

I’m working on it. Years ago now I quit smoking, long before Nicrorette or vaping or whatever surrogates people use. I chewed gum, which I have never enjoyed, and I kissed my husband a lot. Oral comfort.

He watched me for three months and then he quit too. He said it was easy. It ‘s just a gesture, he said, and when he connected his gestures with the cigarettes he eliminated the gesture. That’s what he said.

Well, the fact is we both kicked the habit. I never want to start again because It would be so hard to quit again. Once is enough. I was very proud of myself. I was about 37 years old by that time and I thought I was a finished product. It was a revelation that I could still change.

I remember thinking that if I lived long enough I could be perfect.

Hah!

happy birthday

My other son’s birthday.

Like his siblings, and me, we’ve had a fairly tough time. We all changed after my husband’s death. Like most people, I thought we were immortal. Not really immortal. In the midst of a busy happy life I just didn’t think about it.

My children were 12, 14. 16 and 18, each at some sort of crossroads, suddenly facing a fork in the road none of them, nor I, expected . I’m not going into detail by telling you much more than you care to know. We survived, each in our own way.

We’re still here.

More anon.