I have recently read two books in which I and my husband appear. One is Wiilliam Hutt Soldier Actor by Keith Garebian (Guernica, 2012); the other is The Best Fooling: Adventures in Canadian Theatre ( Memoirs Volume II) by Michael Bawtree (Mereo Books, 2017). We are not major players in either book, but we are named and we are presented as not admirable. I am hurt rather than angry. I tend to be silent and uncomplaining but I have been thinking - a lot.

I used to say, when I got a bad review of a play of mine that I would treat the reviewer (at one time I knew most of the reviewers in Toronto and Winnipeg) the way I treated my gaenecologist, that is, that I would never refer to what went on in the examining room when we met socially, never to mention it. I remember once actually asking one reviewer (I never call them critics) who had given me a very biased aka nasty review, why he had called me sentimental, emotional and melodramatic. . You're never supposed to ask why, but I did, just once. "Because," he said, "you made me cry. I don't like being manipulated. " I asked him if he was moved to laughter would he have the same complaint, of being manipulated. "That," he said, "is different."

Well, I learned to keep my mouth shut. I was brought up to behave (like a lady?). And so, with these two books, in which, as I say, we do not figure largely, I won't make a public statement. (You can hardly call my blog public, so few people read it or care.) But the words still rankle. Of course, I have another point of view, just as biased, I am sure.

I'll shut my eyes and think of Rashomon.

Perhaps I'll have to write my own memoirs, with personal comments. I have never enjoyed dishing the dirt. I like ideas better. Actually, I have written a book about aging, but it's philosophical, a travel book if you will, into the country of age, "from which no traveller returns" - so far unsold. Perhaps a different, gossipy, snarky presentation would sell better. I'll have to think about that.

But I keep thinking about Bambi. Is anyone old enough to remember Bambi, the book or the movie.?

[Bambi is a 1942 American animated film directed by David Hand (supervising a team of sequence directors), produced by Walt Disney and based on the book Bambi, a Life in the Woods by Austrian author Felix Salten. The film was released by RKO Radio Pictures on August 13, 1942, and is the fifth Disney animated feature film.] Wikipedia (Oh my, I was 11 years old. You weren't alive then.)

I remember in the movie that Bambi's friend, Thumper the rabbit, gave the young deer advice taught by his mother: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothin at all."

hail verb:1 a friend hailed him from the upper deck: greet, salute, address, halloo, speak to, call out to, shout to, say hello to, initiate a discussion with, talk to; nod to, wave to, smile at, signal to, lift one's hat to, acknowledge; accost, approach, waylay, stop, catch; informal collar, buttonhole; Brit. informal nobble. ANTONYMS say goodbye to.

2 he hailed a cab: flag down, wave down, signal to stop, gesture to stop, make a sign to; call to, shout to; summon, accost.

3 the critics hailed the new film as a masterpiece: acclaim, praise, applaud, commend, rave about, extol, eulogize, vaunt, hymn, lionize, express approval of, express admiration for, pay tribute to, speak highly of, sing the praises of, make much of; glorify, cheer, salute, exalt, honour, hurrah, hurray, toast, welcome, pay homage to; N. Amer. informal ballyhoo; black English big up; dated cry up; archaic emblazon; rare laud, panegyrize. ANTONYMS criticize, condemn.

4 the band's twenty-six members all HAIL FROM Wales: come from, be from, be a native of, have been born in, originate in, have one's roots in; be … (by birth); live in, have one's home in, inhabit, be an inhabitant of, be settled in, reside in, be a resident of.

noun: a hearty hail greeted me: greeting, hello, hallo, halloo, call, cry, shout, salutation; acknowledgement, welcome, salute. ANTONYMS farewell.

-FAREWELL as in AVE ATQUE VALE: Hail and farewell. That's Latin and if you ever took Latin you probably think of Julius Caesar. If you're Catholic, you probably think of Ave Maria (Hail Mary), if not the prayer, then the hymn/carol, sung by everyone at Christmas time. You notice that no one ever says "Hail, Jesus". Too informal, I guess.

I finally looked up hail from because it's such an annoying cliché and everyone uses it, even articulate reporters and interviewers in the NYT or Manchester Guardian. Is there no other way of saying where a person comes from?

I have never said "I hail from". I'll say, when asked where I come from, "Winnipeg, born and bred", or just - Winnipeg.

My other pet peeve is almost as annoying and almost as ubiquitous. Without further ado. Even academics, with a large vocabulary on the tip of their tongues, fall back on this tired tired way of winding up a tedious introduction of the guest speaker. Without further ado, let's go to the bar,I want to say.

"without further ado Also, without more ado. Without more work, ceremony, or fuss. For example, Without further ado they adjourned the meeting and went home, or And now, without more ado, here is our speaker of the day. This idiom has one of the few surviving uses of the noun ado, meaning “what is being done.” (Another is much ado about nothing.) [Late 1300s] " Online Dictionary

NOTE FROM ME: We have Shakespeare to thank for the perpetuation of the latter phrase.

ado has some lovely synonyms: fuss, trouble, bother, upset, agitation, commotion, stir, hubbub, confusion, excitement, tumult, disturbance, hurly-burly, uproar, flurry, to-do, palaver, rigmarole, brouhaha, furore; N. Amer. fuss and feathers; Indian tamasha; informal hassle, hoo-ha, ballyhoo, hoopla, rumpus, flap, tizz, tizzy, stew, song and dance, performance, pantomime; Brit. informal carry-on, kerfuffle."

Why stop at ado?

Do you have some pet peeves?