birthday eve

My youngest child, Matthew, will be 54 years old tomorrow - hardly a child.  He was due on my thirtieth birthday two weeks later but he was smart and lucky enough to get born a bit early and my  paediatrician was standing by. I already had two girls and a boy, in that order, so  I can say my paediatrician  because by that time he was a friend of the family and boy! did Matt need a friend.  He was born without any sugar in his blood; the placenta was damaged; he had been starving in the womb, weighing in at 4 pounds, 5 ounces at his birth, quite a contrast to his older brother who was 9 pounds, 10 ounces when he was born.  My obstetrician had disapproved of such a big baby because he thought I shouldn't have gained so much weight, so this time he had me on amphetamines so I should stay svelte.  I guess we were fortunate.  Thalidomide was popular then, prescribed for pregnant women - I think to stop them being sick. 

It seems simple and self-evident now that what a pregnant woman puts into her body - smoke, or alcohol or drugs, whatever - will directly affect the baby in her womb, but it seems not to have occurred to doctors at that time. Matthew was born without any sugar in his blood , and that was what did the damage to his brain.  It/he could have been worse, so I was told, but my paediatrician did some amazing things to lessen the damage.  Matt was hooked  up to a glucose supply to fix his blood sugar level and then hung around the hospital after his mother went home without him for a couple of weeks.  (Guess what I wished for when I blew out the candles on my birthday cake.)

Of course, the event changed my/our lives. I wrote a book about it, The Book of Matthew, describing some of the consequences. I have also written a chamber opera, Boy in a Cage, about him, and a film, not (yet) produced, called Six Lost Hours. 

I could go on and on, and I do, but I'll stop now. Tonight I look back on my son's life. Tomorrow I will celebrate it.  

resolutions when I come to be old

Resolutions When I Come To Be Old 
by Jonathan Swift

Not to

Marry a young Woman. 
Keep young Company unless they really desire it. 
Be peevish or morose, or suspicious. 
Scorn present Ways, or Wits, or Fashions, or Men, or War, etc. 
Be fond of Children, or let them come near me hardly. 
Tell the same Story over and over to the same People. 
Be covetous. 
Neglect decency, or cleanliness, for fear of falling into Nastiness. 
Be over severe with young People, but give Allowances for their youthfull follies, and Weaknesses. 
Be influenced by, or give ear to knavish tattling Servants, or others. 
Be too free of advise nor trouble any but those that desire it. 
Desire some good Friends to inform me which of these Resolutions I break, or neglect, & wherein; and reform accordingly. 
Talk much, nor of my self. 
Boast of my former beauty, or strength, or favour with Ladies, etc. 
Hearken to Flatteries, nor conceive I can be beloved by a young woman. 
Be positive or opinionated. 
Sett up for observing all these Rules, for fear I should observe none.

Jonathan Swift 

I've been meaning to show you that for some time.  It applies today as much as ever.