and so it goes

April 6 is my brother's birth date.  He would have been 87 today.  Time goes so quickly when it comes to dates.  I want to say that Jack died four years ago but I think it's more like six because my dog was still alive and he's been gone at least four.  I miss them both. 

Jack was a misfit, always.  Too young for the War (Two), just, he enlisted after his 18th birthday when  he finished his Second Year Science exams. He never got overseas but he had enough time in the army that it gave him a summer job (COTC, Canadian Officers in Training, as a teacher) when he became a civilian and a student once more and took up where he left off, in Second Year.  By that time I had caught up with him, although he was four years older than I.  I was two years ahead of myself and closed the gap from my side.  We were the closest friends we ever were for the next two years.  He went on to Medicine and I went on to Honours English and French.  He taught me more than I ever taught him.  He was very smart, much smarter than I, as my mother always told me.  He was also much nicer than I, a very kind, thoughtful man.  During the latter years of his life I used to go to visit him wherever he was, out west, latterly in Nanaimo in a senior home, where I booked a spare room and stayed for dinner and the night to visit.  I watched him preparing for a table-mate at dinner as he carefully folded an abundance of paper napkins for her, to help her mop up her messy attempts at feeding herself.  After dinner he gallantly escorted her back to her room before he joined me to chat over coffee.  

"Jack," I said, marvelling at his patience, "you are a saint." 

"I try to be," he said. 

He was not a happy teenager, chafing at the war and his youth.  I didn't know any better. He warned me that my so-called smartness was not intelligence, merely the result of  a  good memory. He said I had to learn to think.  So when I arrived at First Year and received my first essay assignment, I knew I had to think about the play (Electra), and not about what critics and academics told me to think about it.  I was fifteen; what did I know?  Anyway I thought, very hard, all by myself.  I got an A-Plus. After that it was all downhill.  But you see, Jack had an influence on me.  

He was a nerd.  In a later decade he would have been a computer genius, or hacker, or something.  When colour television came in, my widowed mother gave us each a set.  Jack asked that his be a DIY one; that is, he built it himself. But he had no ambition to be a world-beater.  He wasn't given a choice.  My father, the doctor, wanted my brother to be a doctor like himself and his father before  him.  l was being aimed that way, too, until a Kuder (preference? aptitude?) Test indicated that my interest in art, music and literature was off the top beyond reckoning, while the science and math preferences (though I got A's in them) were little, niggley marks barely off the bottom edge of the paper.  I was allowed to switch from a science course to arts choices.  If I had been a boy, I would not have been given that choice.  

My brother was a good doctor, and a specialist (urology) but he was never happy.  As a young man,  he loved to play:  the piano, accordion, and card tricks. He became a member of the Magician's Union of America, if that's the official title. His best friend while he was in Med School was the man who ran the morgue, also a magician. Jack loved model trains and anything related to mechanical engineering. After his divorce he left medical practice, in the U.S. by that time,  and disappeared for a while.  When I found him, he was working as an unskilled machinist in a warm state.  I remember thinking if my father knew, he would turn over in his grave.  But Jack was happy.  

He was a gentle man, with a warm, witty sense of humour.  I could go on, but this blog is too long.  l'll shorten it later. For now, let it stand.  It's a Birthday Memoir.

 

a short history of a table

I was married 63 years ago.  My grandparents gave me cash for a wedding present: a crisp new one hundred dollar bill.  That was a LOT of money in those days. I had never seen that much money in one piece of paper before.  I bought a table with it.  This is where history blends in with astonishment.  Bill and I went shopping and picked out the table and had it delivered - to my home, as we were not yet married and had to have a place to put it.  I remember it was delivered to the front door around supper time and I received it  and gave the delivery man the hundred dollar bill and he gave me my change: a nickel.  Our best man was seated in the dining room and saw the exchange and gasped.  

"Was that what I thought it was?" he said.  ""A hundred dollar bill?"  And then, "Did that table cost a hundred dollars?"  

"WOW1"

Before I describe the table let me point out  facts more astonishing than the price of it - very high in those days, incredibly low these days. The points to notice are as follows: there were no delivery charges;  it was same-day delivery; it was C.O.D. (that means Cash on Delivery); there was no tax.

It was an up-down table, coffee table height that you could pull up to dining table height, with a drop-leaf on each of the long sides that made it into a square  surface seating four. And that surface was solid mahogany.  

Ay, there's the rub, and I do mean rub.  Instructions came with the table  not only on the operation of the up-down mechanism but also on the care of the wood.  It needed weekly (!) polishing.  I managed that for about a month and then I began to slip-slide.  I was having enough trouble getting used to washing dishes after every meal; that took me a long time to get reconciled to.  As for silver, remember this was another era. I had sterling silver ornaments and tools, like little ashtrays, a cigarette lighter and urn, candy dishes, and so on.  An aunt of Bill's came to visit who was short-sighted and she came into the living room and said, "Oh, my, look at all your brass!"  The silver needed a lot of polishing, too.  My, how things do change.

I did care for that table, though, and gave it more conscientious thought and attention long after I had retired the silver.  (The cigarette paraphernalia were the first to go.)  After Bill died I down-sized several times and eventually the table went into my younger son's home where it disintegrated.   The surface was badly scarred and disfigured and the up-down mechanism finally broke down. It ended up on a big-item pick-up pile on the street.  

There in a microcosm, a short history of one table, is an illustration of how the world has changed in 60 years, not just the world and things and appreciation but attitudes.  Bill and I were among those responsible for the Boomers, the huge numbers of people born between 1945 and 1965.  When we began we weren't looking in their direction.  We were looking back, expected and trying to fulfill our parents' dreams that had been arrested first by the depression and second by World War Two.  I didn't know who I was for a long time. 

Well, in a way, I still don't. Know. Who I am.